finding the foundation

Today was a special day for Taboo Arts. After six years of praying in and for Camden (a neighbourhood in north London that I've talked about incessantly on here for the past three years), today we met with two other churches and had a church meeting there. It's been on our heart to start church in Camden for several years now. Today, as we crowded into the basement of a coffee shop a few blocks from the Camden Stables Market, we saw the beginnings of an answer to our prayers.

God has been teaching me a lot about faithfulness. Being faithful means remaining consistent with God and taking steps forward with Him even when I don't see an outcome. We have been visiting Camden every week. We have been building relationships with stall owners in the market, with shop keepers on the High Street, and even with estate agents as we look for a property of our own. And many days, we get frustrated, because we want to be in Camden now. We want to interact with the people there when we pop to the corner shop for a Coke, when we go for a run, when we get on the bus.

Today, God reminded me that this is a time when He is letting us see the dream. We had church in Camden today. We saw the fruits of our faithfulness.

But at the same time, we looked back on churches that have been planted in Camden and are no longer holding meetings. The people that planted those churches also had dreams for Camden. They invested their hearts and hands, as well. The work that we want to do will not be done on a place with no foundation. The soil has been prepared by others before us, others who, like Abraham and David and Isaiah, looked forward to a promise of a Saviour, a promise that was not fulfilled in their lifetime. But their dedication and work was important to pave the way for that Saviour.

Sometimes we are faithful, and we do not get to see the results. Sometimes we are faithful, and we have to remain faithful for years without achieving what we desire. Our team has a lot of dreams for Camden; starting church in Camden is just one of them. There are a dozen other things that we have as a team and as individuals that we are having to continue to wait on.

Faithfulness doesn't stand still. Waiting isn't a lack of motion.

We have to invest time on our knees for these dreams that we have, because where we invest our hearts is where we invest our lives. We have to give up the things that God asks us to give up, because if He wants them gone, then they have no place where we are going. We have to trust, to lean in, to go deeper, to say "Yes!" To learn to love those around us deeply, because where we are going, we will need to know a love that is stronger than our superficial human hearts.

Today we got a glimpse.

And now we walk another mile.

bridge building

One month. Four countries.

And now, a week and a half after returning to London, I am still finding the faithfulness of God through all of it. I am beginning to understand a bit of how He worked to prepare our team for each city and worked in each of our hearts as we traveled across central Europe together.

We end every internship with an outreach, and to end the Winter 2015 internship, we traveled to Berlin, Prague, Vienna, and Milan. I had the pleasure of going to three countries I'd never thought I'd get to travel to, and to return to Italy and feel sun on my skin for the first time in seven months. But more than that, I was amazed at the openness of the people to speak to us. I have grown used to people in London, to being ever-so-politely told that I am wrong, that God does not exist, and that the church is an out-dated institution. But in the four cities that we travelled to, I found myself shoving aside language barriers, tripping over Spanish words, learning to listen to Italian, and hearing the pains of people's hearts.

People don't want to talk about their happiest moments with strangers. I don't know why that is, but I have found that often, if you take the time to see them with eyes of Love, they will share with you the things that are most hurting them. I wasn't prepared for it the first time a woman spilled her heart to me in Spanish, and I didn't have the words to translate to my intern, but she saw the tears in Gloria's eyes, and she knew. So we prayed in incorrect verb tenses and tried not to let our mascara run, and in the middle of a square in Prague, I watched Gloria hear from God.

In Berlin, I talked with several people who had never before met a Christian. The city is so new, the same age as me, and in its rebuilding, they are glorifying the past pain. There are memorials to the Berlin Wall everywhere, and markers still divide East Berlin from West Berlin. When I found myself singing "Hometown Glory" where the Berlin Wall used to stand, I saw God's hand. Because I am a girl from the USA, but He placed me there, singing a song about a united city to a city that is still struggling to come together, and I know that it was the result of following Him. I could not have planned that moment. On our team, we come from countries that have fought against each other numerous times across history, yet we live in one house together. We are God's unification in action.

Vienna was a time of refreshing for me, because we stayed at an International House of Prayer with a worship and prayer room that we could use whenever we wanted. After being on outreach for three weeks, it was wonderful to spend time just sitting with God, writing new songs, and remembering to listen. One evening, we went out to Stephansplatz to perform and do evangelism, and within two minutes of beginning, we were surrounded by a crowd. They sang along and made videos, and in the midst of it, we told them all about the God who created them and the Saviour who loves them desperately. They were so excited to find out more about Him. We also saw several people come to Christ in Vienna.

In Italy, we got to work with both the YWAM team and with a church, and they took amazing care of us. The church made us dinner every night (In Italy, pasta is just the first course), and afterwards, we went out to do evangelism at Milan Design Week. Italian culture makes it perfectly normal to stand around and chat to strangers, so we met a lot of people as we performed and did evangelism. It was also really impressive to see the church members out there with us, talking to people and praying with them. And we finally got to visit the YWAM team in Milan, who came to Bones with us in 2013. They planned so many events for us before we even got there and made sure that things ran smoothly.

When we came back from outreach, we had five days to prepare our end of internship exhibition. It took a lot of work, but on Thursday night, we saw a lot of people that we'd never met come into the church to see our art. One of the nursery teachers from next door to the church asked me if we were doing it to show everyone how amazing we were. I got to tell her that we were doing it to show the amazing change that God had worked in our lives over the last three months.

For me, that's the most gratifying part of looking back over the outreach. Not only did God change me and hand me back hope and joy, but He used me to speak to people from dozens of nations. He used me in languages that I don't speak well and in places I never thought that I'd get to go. It's so exciting to get to be a part of God's Kingdom here on Earth and to realise that the King of the Universe takes the time to transform sinners and rebels and uses them to do His work here.

On our first day in Berlin, we got to go into the Parliament with a member of Parliament. At the end, we got to pray with him and for his work in the country.

In Berlin, we also performed in various places in the city. This was in a plaza right where the Berlin Wall used to stand.

In Prague, we washed windows at a local school.

We also took advantage of all of the tourists to talk to people everywhere.

Vienna had some of my favourite times of evangelism and performance in the trip. On our last day, we got to work with YWAM Norway to do performances in Stephansplatz with a permit and a sound system.

This is Christian preaching during the impromptu performance in Stephansplatz on our first day in Vienna, where the crowd came and took video and stayed, asking us to do more. We got to talk with so many of them about Jesus's love for them.

In Milan, we held a seminar to teach the church about using arts in evangelism to bring God's Kingdom to Milan. Several of us taught on various topics, such as Improvisation in Leadership (my lesson), to Teamwork (Carrie and Peri taught what they learned by leading this school together). After the lessons, we taught them the artistic skills we use in evangelism.

Our visual artists did performance art in Milan, as well, and talking to people while they did it. I love watching them use their skills in public for God.

Me with two of my photos (the ones to the right) at the exhibition that we held in Notting Hill.

Widening the Tent Pegs

The winter internship has been going on for four weeks now, and it has been a whirlwind. I had forgotten how different it is to staff an internship as compared to a DTS. I am leading the media track this internship, which means teaching lessons in photography every day. We also go to Camden, Soho, and Notting Hill for evangelism and intercession every week. On top of that, the team is helping to start a ministry of feeding the homeless in Notting Hill, which means training with some nearby nuns. We also got to participate with the council of Harlesden, the area of London where one of the base houses is, to provide the entertainment (and therefore to do evangelism through stilts, music, and face painting) for a community event on the 14th of February.

I love the times of evangelism that we do, because it means that we get to build relationships with the people in the areas of London that God has placed on our hearts. We go into the Portobello Road Market on Saturdays and visit the same stall owners over and over again, sharing life with them and telling them repeatedly about the God who created them and loves them. In England, it takes quite some time to build relationships and invest in people to a point where they are willing to hear more about God. Over the past few visits to Notting Hill, I have gotten to speak quite a bit to Maria, a jewelry maker from Austria, to Michelle, an antiques collector from England, and to Crystal, a trans-gender musician who used to live on the streets and is struggling to keep performing with new licensing laws.

The most difficult evangelism that we do is in Soho. We go every week to partner with a church and hand out teas and coffees. The evangelism always begins with worship, which helps to focus us on doing it to glorify God. Soho has cleaned up a lot since I began going there in 2012, especially after a lot of the brothels were shut down a year ago, but there is still a lot of brokenness visible there. I've talked to a lot of people who struggle with confusion: sexual confusion, confused identity, confusion about their purpose in life, and more. These are the conversations that tear my heart wide open. I cannot give them correct answers to their questions, because my wisdom and experience are limited by age and culture and past experience. I can only offer them love and the possibility of God, who created them and loves them beyond any earthly love. I know that the love of God can transform lives. And I pray, I pray, I pray that they will know that the love of God can transform their lives.

One of my jobs during Soho evangelism has been to go down to a massage parlour to get hot water for the teas and coffees, which means wading through Buddha idols and clients and the women and lady boys (It's a Thai massage parlour) who service the clients. I have been praying for years to have the opportunity to talk to them, and when it was presented to me unexpectedly, I was unprepared for what I saw. I have come to the realisation that it is not my job to heroically go in and save them. I don't know the situations that they are in; in fact, I am only just now, after several weeks, at the point of being able to have conversations with the people who work at the parlour. The first week, when I saw the small corridor where they sit on the floor and wait for clients, I couldn't remember how to breathe. I knew that I couldn't cry, so the only thing I could do was pray fervently as I waited for the kettle to boil.

God has been widening the pegs of the tent that is my heart. I have done nothing to deserve the sheer honour of talking to all of the people that I encounter in evangelism. I am still amazed when they are willing to open their hearts and pasts to me, a stranger on the street. It is still a challenge to swallow my own self justice and understanding to let God be magnified inside of me. However, I am so, so thankful that God is using me. I make mistakes, I trip up in conversations, I snap at my housemates or behave selfishly or any number of other things, but God still uses me. Some days, it hurts to talk to people who are hurting and who spew that hurt in words of anger, or who ignore me like I'm not even there on the streets with them, but it is worth it. It is worth it for the absolute privilege of bringing my Saviour's name to the streets of London.

Soho Evangelism:

learning to rest

It turns out that I'm not very good at resting.

It is a free week, and when I spent time with God earlier this week and asked Him what He wanted from this week, He said one word: "rest."

It took me several days to actually let go and stop trying to be productive enough to rest.

The DTS ended a week ago, with a fancy dinner and a few days of goodbye hugs and last moments together, and it took several days after that for me to fully process the amazing work God did in our lives in the past five months.

Staffing a DTS was amazing and challenging and exhausting and fun. It taught me to look at others more than myself, to listen instead of pushing productivity, and most of all, to rely on God's strength. He stripped away all of my own strength through fasting, through illness, through 3 am filmings and listening to what was happening in the lives of the students instead of requiring them to finish a project right away. I had to let go of my criteria and ask God to show me people through His eyes. I had to learn to work better with my teammates, as well, because they have so many gifts and strengths that I do not have. God pulled all of us together as a team and a family, and that was probably my favorite part of the DTS.

We start our winter internship in less than a week, and now I am starting to ask God what He wants to do in this time. We rang in the New Year with the DTS by doing evangelism and worship on Primrose Hill, the highest point in Camden, which is our promised land, and I would like to continue moving in that same way. I would like to continue to build relationships with people in London, to talk to and show strangers His love, and to worship Him in various corners of the city. I'd also like to do more work in the area of photography and justice, which is a topic God has been speaking to me about a lot in the past few months.

And I'd like to spend the next year resting in God. There are a lot of things happening with visas, with ideas for future internships, with expanding to grab various parts of the city, that are coming up and over which I have no control. I've been learning to rest this week, to prioritize listening to God over productivity and my own strength, and that is something that I hope to carry into this next season in the team and year.

in the fruit business

I've been reading a lot lately about fruit. We received donations from Waitrose, an upscale grocery store, this week, and as I eat a medley of berries, I've got fruit on my mind.

In the Bible, specifically in the New Testament, there is a lot of talk about fruit. Jesus says that He is the vine and we are the branches. We are told that they will know that we are God's by the fruit that we bear, that we will be pruned, that we are here on Earth to plant and sow seeds, and the metaphors extend on and on. Bearing fruit doesn't just mean evangelism. We bear fruit whenever our actions bring more glory to God.

This holiday season has been a fruit-cultivating season for Taboo Arts. We are running a discipleship training school, which means that we are investing in lives right in our home. God told us to open up our lives and hearts to those He wants to draw nearer to Him, so we built more beds and welcomed them in. But at the same time, as missionaries in London, we are also called to influence our city. For us, that means going to the neighbourhoods that He has given us: Notting Hill and Camden. We do our arts out of Notting Hill, and we go to Camden to invest in the neighbourhood through prayer, worship, and evangelism (relationship-building) weekly.

This year, we also got to partner with the YWAM team in Earl's Court (west London), the Earl's Court Community Project, to help with the drop-in that they do for the homeless and lonely of that community. We rehearsed for weeks leading up to the days of the drop-in, and for the two days leading up to Christmas, we got to join them in serving our community.

My favourite part of the outreach was that we got to both serve and do arts. We are God's hands and feet on Earth, which is not just a nice saying, but means that God with Us, Emmanuel, Jesus Himself is in us. When we interact with people, if we allow ourselves to be led by God, we are the interaction that those people have with Jesus. Jesus can touch their lives through us. That is what we were doing in Earl's Court; we were doing Jesus's work in the lives of the people who came to eat dinner and sing carols and talk to us. That was their Christmas, and some of them have been coming to the drop in for so many years that it is their family that they visit on the holidays.

It wasn't always easy to serve them. Some of them smelled, or came with the intent on arguing with us about God. However, when I asked God to let me see them through His eyes, I noticed how their eyes lit up when they talked about their children, or I saw their gleaming minds full of philosophy that I've never been able to comprehend. The homeless and lonely of Earl's Court have aspects of God's character that are beautiful to see. They love each other. They take care of one another. I watched them serve each other through getting each other teas and coffees, or moving so someone else could sit down, or listening to the heart-wrenching stories that they needed to talk out over the course of the evening.

I don't have photographs of the aspects of Earl's Court that God used to minister to my heart and show me more about His character, but I have pictures of the performances that we got to do. I just want to let you know that God blessed us as we served at Earl's Court. I left the Project full of joy and thankfulness, and I finally felt like it was Christmas. That is how I know that bearing fruit is what I was created to do. In that pursuit of God, of loving my neighbours as myself, I felt the Light of life alive in and through me. Even better, I got to watch that Light pour out of my teammates and nourish the hearts of the ones that are so often forgotten in this season of celebration of Joy come to Earth.

Sent -->

I have heard several messages lately on the topic of being sent to be God's Kingdom here on Earth. That is something that has been on our team's heart recently, as well. We are artists and missionaries here in London, but we also have a heart to reach the other cities in Europe. With the DTS that we are running right now, we are focusing on visiting artistic cities in the United Kingdom.

In November, we took the DTS to Brighton and to Bristol, both in the south of England. The outreaches were short, with the primary purpose of scouting the arts scenes in the cities with the aim to do longer outreaches in the future. One of my favourite parts of outreach is the realisation that our time in any given place is limited. We only had a few days in each city, so we put all of our effort into talking to as many people as possible. We let go of the inhibitions that can make evangelism and building relationships seem daunting in London. I love seeing the freedom and zeal that come with knowing that we have kingdom work to do and a limited amount of time to do it.

I was struck by how open people were to talk to us. I went into a lot of arts shops around the cities and just started speaking to people that I found inside, and more often than not, I'd end up talking with the people for a while and praying with them. This was not unique to me; a lot of our team had the same experience. We came together after times of evangelism with lists of names of new friends.

At the church in Bristol, the pastor talked to our team about being willing to be Jesus to the city of Bristol. He told us that often, Jesus did not tell people who He was; instead, He showed them. He challenged us to show Jesus to Bristol instead of focusing on forcing the Gospel and a decision of salvation down their throats. He reminded us of the passage in the Bible that talks about God's word not returning empty. It was almost more challenging to go into the streets with that in mind: how do I let my actions shout loud for Jesus, even if I don't get the chance to tell a person how they can be saved? To be honest, that is a challenge, because it means watching your own behaviour instead of trying to force new behaviour on another person. It means that I actually have to love my neighbour and do good to those who hurt me and show others that they are more important than me. I can't rely on quoting the Romans Road or John 3:16; I have to live the love of God and let it pour out of me. I have to become less of my fleshy self so that more of God's Spirit can pour out of me. After all, I go to these cities so that the people in them can encounter God. I don't go so that the people of Brighton and Bristol can encounter me.

On the outreaches, God also impressed upon me the privilege that I have to travel around this land in His name. I spent Thanksgiving in Bristol, and even though I ate (delicious) pasta instead of turkey and dressing, I got to do the work of my Heavenly Father. I got to live the life that He created me to live. My mother texted me to tell me that she is glad that I wasn't home, because it meant that I was where God wanted me to be. She's right. I am so thankful to be right here, living in London and travelling around Europe and getting the opportunity to be God's hands and feet and kingdom here on Earth.

Our DTS students in Brighton!

I got to play a mountain dulcimer (which my grandpa taught me) and talk to the shop owners in a shop in Brighton

One of the guys gave food and his coat to this homeless man.

Andy, a new friend in Brighton

Evangelism in Bristol

A new friend in Bristol.

                                                    Performing songs in Bristol.

Shining in the Darkness

Sometimes, when we ask God to open doors and make opportunities, we forget to expect Him to move. I get so passionate in prayer times, asking God to give me opportunities to influence the secular arts in England, to open doors for me to reach artists who don't know Him, and then, when He opens the doors, it's hard for me to pick my jaw up from the floor.

This week, God opened doors for our team, and some of us went to Sheffield (a city three hours north) to be extras in a film. With only a few hours' notice, we picked out our best party outfits and drove up north for our film acting debuts. We thought that we would just be in the background of a party scene, but we ended up being in another scene, as well, which involved talking to each other in the background of some shots. Seeing the magic that happens behind the camera was a learning experience for me. I never knew how well film crews worked together. Each person was responsible for a specific area, and they did their job, followed orders directly when they were called, and respected other people's work. They also had such obvious love for each other. Best of all, the assistant director who was in charge of working with us was so full of love and enthusiasm for us that I had a great time even while waiting between takes. In the few hours that I was with her, I learned a lot about loving people and leading with gentleness.

As fun as it was to spend a few hours in the middle of the organised frenzy of filming, the best part of the day was probably getting to talk to the other extras. We had six hours between our call time and the beginning of filming, and for those six hours, our team of ten YWAMers talked to the other eight extras about what we do and Who we serve. We got to explain a lot about how God works in our lives to them, about why we do art for Jesus, and to get to know about their dreams and ambitions.

The club where we were filming was full of idols and other symbols of paganism (altars, pentagrams, etc), but we had the opportunity to fill that movie set with God. As Christians, if we have Jesus as our hope, then the people that encounter us encounter Hope. They encounter Love. They don't meet tolerance or blindness, but Grace. That is why we go to film as extras. That is why we intercede and spend time with God every day and worship. We don't do it so that we can be spiritual giants, but so that the Love and Grace and Hope that the world needs to meet can walk onto a film set dressed in party clothes. Love, Grace, and Hope can find them where they are, sitting on the edge of their dreams and forced to face the reality of the emptiness that comes from trying to satisfy the yearning that all of our self-centred dreams leave gaping wide inside of us.

I wish that I could find a way to express how thankful I am that God did not send me into this industry alone. I wish I could find the words to worship God for how wise He is for not throwing me into the entertainment industry without spiritual parents, a family to ground me in truth, a ministry to teach me to form art inspired by God that glorifies God, with no thought to my own fame and success. God sent me to that film set with nine of my closest friends. Even better, we went on the final day of a three week fast that we had been doing. Our bodies were weak, but we spent the day grasping God's hand and waiting for His power to come out of us. There was a moment where I stepped back and watched as our team fanned out to talk to the others about God, and I could see the passion lighting up each of their faces. God's joy flowed from all of them.

On top of all of that, it was one of the most delightful days that I have had in a long time. God has really spoiled me lately. I am always overwhelmed when God makes a dream I didn't even know I had come true. He is such an indulgent Father.