layers, angles, sides

Every fortnight, we have a free barbecue at Hope and Anchor Community Church. As the weeks go on and we get into the swing of things (read: as we still try to figure out how to get the fire to catch in the grills), we are also getting to build relationships with the people that we invite into our family. I still get a lump in my throat when I look around the room and see gruff old men and teenage girls worshipping next to each other, especially because they don't know the songs, but they go for it anyway.

One of my favourite things to do during these barbecue services (because we do them simultaneously) is to stand downstairs with the people who don't feel that they can go upstairs. Sometimes they feel too dirty, or they don't have anywhere to leave their dog (the homeless often take better care of their dogs than other people do their own children), or they are a different religion, so they don't want to disrespect the church. We welcome them upstairs anyway, but sometimes, they prefer to stay with us outside.

I've gotten to know several of our neighbours this way. I appreciate the open hearts that they have to share how life is going for them. They love the idea of spending time together as a community (and they love free barbecue, because who doesn't?). They aren't afraid to share themselves with others. And that is as rare as the sunshine in London. Although, we've had several weeks in a row of sunshine and hot weather, and if that's not a sign of an Almighty God, I don't know what is.

During the last barbecue, we all got to know Sarah. I don't know the details of her situation, but Sarah has a way of turning up at different times throughout the week. She brought food to share to the barbecue, because she didn't want to just come and take. She wanted to contribute to our time of community. While Sarah was certainly inebriated, she was also kind, and she made sure to include and talk to everyone. When she found out that I was a photographer, she was keen for me to take her photo.

What I love about these photos is the range that Sarah shows. She has different layers and different sides, which I am getting to know through the texts she has begun sending me. Yesterday morning, I woke up to eight messages from her, most of them pictures of the sky. She shared what she was seeing and how she felt about it. I love getting to see Camden through her eyes.

the taste of hope is thick in the air

Last Sunday, we celebrated the third birthday of Hope and Anchor Community Church in the best way conceivable: we bought three grills and barbecued in the street for the people of Camden. There's nothing quite so unifying as a free barbecue when the weather is nice, and we spent Friday and Sunday giving out flyers and inviting people to come round. At first they were suspicious, but when they saw the smoke and smelt the meat, they were keen.

I stayed downstairs to welcome the people that were coming, since many of them were the homeless friends I've made in the past year and a half of Lazarus Project, and as I escorted one of them upstairs to the table of breads and sauces, I stopped dead in my tracks. I have not often wanted to cry from wonder, but I couldn't help it. Chris was in the centre of the room, preaching about God's love for broken people, and the room was filled with new friends from the streets. As Chris mentioned that he, himself was broken, one of the women raised her hand and said, "But not as broken as me!" When Chris explained that Jesus came for people like us, those who are broken, she froze. She couldn't believe what she was hearing.

She didn't make it through the whole sermon; that much truth overwhelmed her. I followed her downstairs, though, and we stood in the sunshine as she told me a little bit of her story. She is not homeless anymore, but her children have grown and gone, and she feels terribly alone. Yet in the hour that we stood outside talking, countless people came up to say hello to her. She has such a gift for creating community around her.

I got to pray for her before the end of the evening, and as she left, she told me, "You've changed one woman's day today. I'll see you next week."

And do you know, I still can't really believe it. It was a dream come true to see so many people in our church. Apparently they are still talking about the barbecue in the various homeless drop-ins across the city. But it goes beyond that: the people who came, who were homeless and teenagers and adults and people with homes and families and people who were curious and people who were lonely and people, and people, and people...It wasn't just our dream. It isn't that we've been fasting and asking God for this for years. It is His dream. It was His dream long before it was ours. We've been learning to be faithful to His dreams without seeing much of it in reality, but on Sunday, we saw it. It came in the flesh to us. It asked questions and wanted prayer and answered back in the sermon and wanted prayer.

And I still can't believe it. It is so much better than I imagined.

words that shine like sunny rays

Every Saturday for years, we have gone to Portobello Road Market to do evangelism. The evangelism has turned random conversation into relationships, so that now when I walk down Portobello, I get to move like a local, stopping to chat with so many of the people that I see. It can take a while for Londoners to warm up, and many weeks conversations seem to fall flat. So we pray as we walk away and wait for the next Saturday.

One of my favourite Saturday friends is called Dolly. She is 91 years old, and she has been working in the market since she was 14. Her hands are gnarled and often bleed from her excema. A few months ago, she let me start praying for her hands when I buy my weekly punnet of blueberries. In the middle of the chaos of bagging up produce, she stops, and we pray. And this week, after I prayed for her, she told me that she loved me.

I don't really know much of Dolly's story, in spite of seeing her every week for years. But her words remind me of our hope, the reason that we walk down the market every Saturday. We have gone years without seeing anyone meet Jesus. But actually, that assumption is wrong. They meet Jesus every week. And even when we can't see the change inside of them, even when we feel that conversations have fallen on deaf ears, that the effort isn't paying off, something is happening in the deep places.

It is for these deep places that we fight.

when you learn to walk your dreams

For several months, we as Hope and Anchor Community Church have talked about our desire to have a congregation that looks like the neighbourhood outside the church doors. Our real passion is to be a church on the streets, and not just a church that is holed up in a building, enjoying a worship service but never impacting the neighbourhood.

With Lazarus Project, several of us spend time in the streets of Camden, feeding the homeless alongside a project called Streets Kitchen and talking to and checking on the homeless and needy with whom we have relationships. We have been wondering what it would look like for the homeless of our streets, the people who seem most willing to have relationships with us, to become a part of our church. And, if nothing else, it is cold. We have a warm space for them to be in for a few hours on a Sunday.

While a few of our homeless friends have ventured into church once, they haven't repeated their visits. They are a transient community. It is hard to stay in touch with them if we don't find them outside, because they rarely keep phones for longer than a few weeks, if they have them at all. So we don't know why it is that they don't return. But we want them to return.

Before the service last Sunday, Sara and I talked to a homeless man called Sam. It was a fiercely cold day (we had a week of snow last week - and London is not prepared for snow), and we invited him to come inside of the church to warm up. We assured him that he didn't have to participate, and that if all he wanted to do was sit in the back, that was fine. So he came along and sat in the back, and after serving him tea and biscuits, we left him to warm up.

After the service, Sam stayed sat in the back of the room. I began helping to clear away our equipment, and as I did, I saw our pastor go and kneel down in front of Sam. They stayed that way for a while, and while I do not know what was said, what struck me the most was the posture. The busyness of tidying away swirled around them, but all of Chris's attention was on Sam. Before Sam left, he told us some of the things that he needs. His bag was nicked last week, so he is without many essentials, but he was hesitant to ask for everything that he needed.

On Tuesday evening, Chris took some emergency blankets we'd ordered to Sam and his friends. Sam had told us that many of the homeless men had to walk around all night, because they hadn't anything to keep them from freezing to death if they went to sleep. Yesterday, as I walked down the stairs at church (more tidying), I found Chris with Sam, who was trying on several pairs of shoes. One pair I recognised as Chris's own, a sturdy pair of trainers in which he's walked across the world.

Chris would perhaps not like me sharing this, but I am going to do it anyway, because it struck me. This is what it looks like to be the church in the streets and to welcome the streets into our church. It means giving them what we have. It means not putting demands on their behaviour. We say that we want to meet people where they are at - and maybe this is what it looks like. Maybe it looks like letting a homeless man sleep in the corridor during movie night. He doesn't have to participate, because what he truly needs is a safe place to catch forty winks.

We don't really know how to move with this, but I think that's okay. Because we asked God for this, and He has seen fit to do it. So now, I think that we just have to keep following Him and doing our best to be faithful to His dream.

I really hope that Sam comes back next week.

hope is rising

This update is long overdue, especially considering that I met many of you during my ten-day visit to the States in December. It was amazing to put faces to the people who support me and to get to pray alongside you for the church that our team is planting, for our staff, for the homeless, and for getting to be God's hands and feet in London. 

All of that being said, I don't have an excuse for not writing. We are in our quiet season; when the leadership school students and arts interns arrive in the first week of February, we will begin a long streak of schools that will last until the Christmas season. The weeks have been spent preparing our various houses for that onslaught of students, meeting around tables to discuss the hopes and dreams God has put on our hearts for 2018 (and to put back at God's feet the things that we feel we could have done differently), and sorting through the piles of things that we put off to do "when we have more time." But "more time" is almost over; next week, our whole base heads to Brussels for our base retreat, and when we get back, the students arrive. 

Whilst I was lying in my childhood bed in my parents' house, I found myself asking God for one thing over and over again. I had the space that I needed from London and the perspective from talking to all of you about 2017, and I realised that, somewhere along the way, I got so focused on the day-to-day activities of various schools and ministries that I forgot to hope. You have to lift your eyes to hope. You have to look beyond the circle of what you are holding in your own arms to the heavens so that you can see that there is a way that we cannot even fathom. And that way is far better than the suppositions that we make on a daily basis. I can keep my eyes level and look at tomorrow, but when I do that, I forget to factor in that God will be next to me. Chances are that He will do something that I don't expect. So I need to learn again how to look up, to see my situations reflected in the Light of Heaven. 

Part of that hoping and receiving beyond what I expected has been the opportunity to go on several ministry trips in the first months of this year. I will be travelling to Brussels, Geneva, and New York City in January, February, and March. I am excited to meet with other believers around the world, to make connections that will hopefully lead to us working together, and to see what God is doing where I am not actively working. Going on ministry trips and outreaches gives me a heart for the whole world and helps me from getting self-focused on what we are doing in London. London is but a piece of God's plan! In the midst of my excitement, though, is the realisation that my bank account also did not expect these trips. God is faithful, and I trust Him (I feel like I always reiterate that at this point). If He wants me in these places, He will make a way. But also, if you are wondering what area of need I have right now, this is it. I need support that goes directly to me and my bank account for travel, food, and the other necessities of life that are not covered by my staff fees in YWAM. If you'd like to help in that area and don't know how, please just email me at deborahestevenson@gmail.com. 

I also briefly mentioned above that we have an arts internship and a leadership school starting in February. You are probably tired of hearing about arts internships by now, but this leadership school is our first one ever! We saw a need to raise up the next generation to lead in a Godly way. True leadership, the Bible says, is to be the servant of all. It also means being able to come under authority, being rooted and grounded, and many, many other things that I have come to learn in my time as a part of this team. So this February, we have young people from around the world coming to a three-month leadership school. It is always a growing experience, meaning both full of joy and full of humbling, to do something for the first time. Please pray for our team as we welcome these young leaders to our family! 

Melo and Andres have also recently returned from their honeymoon, and the three of us have begun work on YWAM London Radiant's first-ever March DTS. Yes, we are running two discipleship training schools this year (more room for humility and discovery with God!), and we need your prayer as well as we work through these next months of preparing for the students that are currently applying. 

And as ever, soon we will need a new house for all of these people. God has laid different areas of London on our hearts, and we need wisdom to know where He is leading us next (and open doors and finances...). We also desperately need a space for all of the schools to meet in. Space is one of our constant challenges in London, as you have probably discovered. I know that there are many of you who pray for us on a daily and weekly basis, so if you could pray for our schools that are coming up and for the space that we need, we trust that we will see the fruits of that!

Finally (finally is probably what you are thinking, as well!), I want to thank all of you that I saw in Georgia, South Carolina, and North Carolina. When we all prayed together for Hope and Anchor Community Church, or when you came to tell me that you were praying for and thinking of our team, it encouraged me. We don't take it lightly when you say that you are praying. We know the power of prayer, and it is incredible to see you wield that power. So, from all of us at YWAM London Radiant, thank you for your faithfulness. 

nets stretched in the best ways

There is a story in the Gospels where the disciples are out fishing all night, yet they don’t catch anything. Then Jesus comes along, and they have such a large catch that their nets begin to break. Yesterday, in our staff meeting, Peri mentioned this story and how we are ending that sort of season right now. God has been so faithful with His blessings: today we finish a DTS with over 20 students from all of the habitable continents. We’ve had outreaches to different cities in the UK, Paris, Spain, and Italy. We had Bones/Arise camp, where we reached out to all of London in the run-up to Notting Hill Carnival. We have several houses across London and a church in Camden as well as ministries that began this year and are reaching into many different sectors of society. When we look back on 2017, we are amazed by what God has done.

Something that Chris has kept saying recently, though, is that blessings come with a weight of responsibility. Each of us has carried increased weight in this season, from more responsibilities to learning how to maintain family in a steadily-growing team. It takes a lot of faithfulness with time and intentionality in relationships. It means being less selfish with space and possessions. And it means carving out time each day to sit quietly with God and to listen to how He wants to do it, because there isn’t a precedent for us to follow. 

In this whole process, our nets have worn in some places. Those of us who are a part of Lazarus, the mercy ministry, have grown used to seeing heart-ache and brokenness in the homeless that we work with several times a week. It has taken a toll on us, even if we haven’t noticed in the day-to-day. We need to be refreshed. Likewise, those of us who have spent the past five months walking alongside our Discipleship Training School students will release them tonight at their graduation, and for a few weeks, at least, we will let go of that responsibility and hand them back to their families and friends. 

And we’re tired. This is our season of more time and freedom, when we go home for holidays and take time together as a team to listen to God and to be re-filled. We have a staff retreat in Brussels in January (where two of our team are moving to lead the YWAM base there), and before that, we are shifting who lives where and how we organise the structure of our days. But also, there will be more time to seek God’s heart. And that is what keeps us going. 

We need your prayers in this season, that doors will open for our team to have a space to meet all together. We have 25 staff and just as many students, and the places that we have been using are no longer available to us. But in February we begin an arts internship and a leadership school, and as of right now, we don’t know where the classes and track times for those schools will be held. We also need prayers that we will find the right house when we need it again, as this is the off-season for the London housing market. It is also getting closer to the time for us to begin our commercial venture of having a cafe/shop/hair salon, etc, and we are starting to learn about the rental agreements for commercial spaces. As you can imagine, the rent will be staggering. But we want to be faithful to God’s dreams for London, so we are pursuing it. 

As for me, I am training to run the London Marathon in April. It is our charity’s first year having a space, which means a lot of paperwork and registering the charity with various services from the Queen. I thought that training would be the most difficult part of the marathon, but I was wrong! If you could pray that God makes a clear way for us to get all registered, I would be very thankful!

I will be in the States from 17-27 December. On 17 December, I will be at Calvary Baptist Temple in Savannah, Georgia. On 19 December, I will be at Martha Franks in Laurens, South Carolina. On 20 December, I will be at Green Creek First Baptist Church in Columbus, North Carolina. If you’d like to see me at any of those places, please email deborahestevenson@gmail.com. I cannot wait to see all of you whilst I am in the States!

Micah and Ina talking to a guest at our November exhibition

Our students inviting people into our November exhibition

One of the girls I mentor performing in front of a castle in Milan, Italy

A picture one of my photography students, Joseph, took of me in Lake Como, Italy

Another photo of me by Joseph in Lake Como

With one of my arts gathering friends, Theresa, in Paris

a teaching at the International Arts Gathering in Paris

Serving the homeless of Camden

The Tuesday morning drop-in for the homeless

Drop In, Drop Out

I seem to be an expert at fly-by posts these days. October has been a month on the move for me, with a half-marathon, the final performances of "Here I Stand" by Mervyn Weir, the International Arts Gathering in Paris, and now, outreach to Milan. I am so grateful to have gotten to do both the half marathon and the play, because they have allowed me to influence different spheres of society that I don't normally get to touch. As a team, we don't want to just be the church inside of a church building. We love to be the church everywhere that we go, because we take Jesus wherever we go. If people's lives are changed when they encounter Jesus, then we bring the possibility of change just by moving across the different streets and societal spheres of our city.

Most of my team came to support me in the London showing of the play, and it meant so much to me that they gave up a Saturday evening to be there. It wasn't just that they wanted to see me sing and act; the play was about the Protestant Reformation and what the church's responsibility is today. It had a clear gospel message about God's grace, and there were non-Christians in the audience who left the theatre knowing a lot more about God than when they entered. For that matter, I learnt a lot about the Reformation myself!

I am excited to hand all of the things that I have been doing back to God and to make room for Milan. As I was training for the London Marathon today, I had 16 miles to think back over everything that God is doing. In the past year, He has increased our team exponentially. We quote it all of the time: six houses, several churches that work with us, several new vehicles, numerous new jobs and ministries and areas where God is putting us to spread His love. But as often as we quote it, I still have to remember to thank God for what He is doing. The landscape of our team is changing. We don't all staff all of the programmes anymore, since we are involved in the various ministries of the base. We have to be more intentional about communicating the daily details of life and about celebrating together. We have to fight more to be a family.

We are being challenged in the area of finances as well, with six houses to pay rent on as well as utilities and other expenses. Chris said it best last week, "Sometimes you think you want the blessing, and then you feel the weight of the blessing." We look forward to the seasons that are coming in 2018, to the schools and the ministries and the programmes, but we are also having to learn to be faithful with what we have right now. For me, that means being faithful to lead the students well in Milan next week, to love them and walk with them even when I am tired or would rather not have to find solutions to whatever situations present themselves.

The team went to Milan last year, but I haven't been since the outreach that we took in April 2015. I think that God will open my eyes to aspects of the city that I didn't see the last time we were there, and I look forward to it. And of course, there will be the typical challenges of a DTS outreach. But the students have been going after God's heart at the International Arts Gathering in Paris this past week, and they are all so excited to see in what ways they can serve and use arts to reach the people of Milan.

Only half the team is going to Milan; the other half of the DTS students will be doing outreach in Spain. It is the first time we've split a DTS outreach like this, so I think that we will learn a lot. But I am also looking forward to getting to know the ten students on our team more deeply in this time, and to seeing them move in the ways that God encourages them. Outreach always requires a lot of dependance on God, and as difficult as that is to plan for, it means that the Holy Spirit has the space to work in our lives and through our lives. And for that, I truly am excited.

If you could pray for the outreach teams to Spain and Italy, we will be gone until 11 November. After that, the students dive back into lecture weeks, and we prepare for an exhibition that will be held at the end of November. And if you could pray for the team and personal finances of all of us here in London, as well, we would truly appreciate it.

I will see you all after Italy! Ciao!