Shining in the Darkness

Sometimes, when we ask God to open doors and make opportunities, we forget to expect Him to move. I get so passionate in prayer times, asking God to give me opportunities to influence the secular arts in England, to open doors for me to reach artists who don't know Him, and then, when He opens the doors, it's hard for me to pick my jaw up from the floor.

This week, God opened doors for our team, and some of us went to Sheffield (a city three hours north) to be extras in a film. With only a few hours' notice, we picked out our best party outfits and drove up north for our film acting debuts. We thought that we would just be in the background of a party scene, but we ended up being in another scene, as well, which involved talking to each other in the background of some shots. Seeing the magic that happens behind the camera was a learning experience for me. I never knew how well film crews worked together. Each person was responsible for a specific area, and they did their job, followed orders directly when they were called, and respected other people's work. They also had such obvious love for each other. Best of all, the assistant director who was in charge of working with us was so full of love and enthusiasm for us that I had a great time even while waiting between takes. In the few hours that I was with her, I learned a lot about loving people and leading with gentleness.

As fun as it was to spend a few hours in the middle of the organised frenzy of filming, the best part of the day was probably getting to talk to the other extras. We had six hours between our call time and the beginning of filming, and for those six hours, our team of ten YWAMers talked to the other eight extras about what we do and Who we serve. We got to explain a lot about how God works in our lives to them, about why we do art for Jesus, and to get to know about their dreams and ambitions.

The club where we were filming was full of idols and other symbols of paganism (altars, pentagrams, etc), but we had the opportunity to fill that movie set with God. As Christians, if we have Jesus as our hope, then the people that encounter us encounter Hope. They encounter Love. They don't meet tolerance or blindness, but Grace. That is why we go to film as extras. That is why we intercede and spend time with God every day and worship. We don't do it so that we can be spiritual giants, but so that the Love and Grace and Hope that the world needs to meet can walk onto a film set dressed in party clothes. Love, Grace, and Hope can find them where they are, sitting on the edge of their dreams and forced to face the reality of the emptiness that comes from trying to satisfy the yearning that all of our self-centred dreams leave gaping wide inside of us.

I wish that I could find a way to express how thankful I am that God did not send me into this industry alone. I wish I could find the words to worship God for how wise He is for not throwing me into the entertainment industry without spiritual parents, a family to ground me in truth, a ministry to teach me to form art inspired by God that glorifies God, with no thought to my own fame and success. God sent me to that film set with nine of my closest friends. Even better, we went on the final day of a three week fast that we had been doing. Our bodies were weak, but we spent the day grasping God's hand and waiting for His power to come out of us. There was a moment where I stepped back and watched as our team fanned out to talk to the others about God, and I could see the passion lighting up each of their faces. God's joy flowed from all of them.

On top of all of that, it was one of the most delightful days that I have had in a long time. God has really spoiled me lately. I am always overwhelmed when God makes a dream I didn't even know I had come true. He is such an indulgent Father.

the fields of London

My team has been praying for several years about moving to Camden. Camden is actually the first place I stayed in London; when my grandparents brought me to university here over four years ago, we stayed at the Holiday Inn on Camden Lock. It has also been a place of influence - in politics, fashion, music, art, and more - for decades. We have been going to Camden every week for my whole time on the team, because God has told us to invest in Camden. And we believe that the next step is to move to Camden, where we can sow more seeds for Christ and influence the artistic scene (and maybe some other areas, as well. Who are we to limit God?).

Because of all of this, I have been praying that God would open up doors for me in Camden, even if it makes me uncomfortable. I'm pretty comfortable talking to women in the streets and market stalls, having friendly conversations on public transport, and stopping people on the streets. But I'm not as comfortable going into places that I deem "Man World." And there is one guitar shop in Camden that I definitely think is "Man World." It has tiny replicas of famous musicians' guitars in the windows, rock music playing, and lots of grungy looking men jamming in the middle of the shop. Yesterday, for some reason, I stopped to look a little bit more closely. Juliette, who was leading the time of prayer in Camden, told me that I could go in if I wanted. Then one of our students sauntered in, and I knew that I had to follow him. He disappeared into the back of the shop, and left me with the shopkeeper and several of the people who were hanging out and playing guitar. The biggest shock for me was that they actually started talking to me before I could say anything.

In John 4:35-36, it says, "Do you not say, 'There are yet four months, then comes the harvest'? Look, I tell you, lift up your eyes, and see that the fields are white for harvest. Already the one who reaps is receiving wages and gathering fruit for eternal life, so that sower and reaper may rejoice together."

When I had been praying for Camden and asking God to open up doors for me there, I had assumed that God would have to push a boulder from in front of the door, and that I'd have to help push. I had prepared myself mentally for a lot of rejection and effort before I even had one conversation. But in the guitar shop, I met people who wanted to talk to me. When they found out that I was a Christian, instead of immediately dismissing me, the way people do in other parts of London, they actually began to ask me more questions. They asked me to come back to the shop later in the day (which I did) to talk to their manager, who was also a Christian. He invited me to his church, and I got to talk to the guys in the shop more about what they do in Camden.

It seems silly to me now that I tried to prepare myself to do God's work without counting on God to step in. It seems silly that I was ready to work for a harvest when the harvest could be ready now. And I am in awe of how God worked, of His answer to my prayers, and of the openness that I found in Camden yesterday.

I am going to continue to ask God to prepare the way for me in Camden, and for wherever else He is leading me in this time, but I am also expectant that He will surprise me and exceed my expectations, which often forget to take into account how awesome my God is. I also invite you guys to pray with me for Camden, for a house that my team can fit into and afford (but, as long as we're asking in faith, that it will also have space for us to do our art and to expand our team), and that God will open the doors in churches, in businesses, and with individuals for us to continue to take Camden for His Kingdom.

 DJ Grandpa, one of the street performers who has popped up by the tube in Camden.

Worship under a bridge in Camden.

 Caroline, from Bath, whom I met in the guitar shop.

little changes

It is the middle of September, and it already feels (and looks!) like autumn in London. The season is changing outside, and in the blue house on All Souls Avenue, we are in a new season, as well. This is a time that we have been anticipating for a year now: the first month of our ministry's first Discipleship Training School (DTS).

We have twelve students in the DTS (four continents, five nations), and in addition to growing to know God more, they are also spending time going deeper in their arts. I am leading the theatre and photography/media tracks, which means that I get to spend my time helping write a play and learning video editing as well as teaching the students about how I do theatre and photography for God, and more importantly, how they can use it to know God more intimately and to make Him known to their sphere of influence.

It's a season of growing and maturing for me. Our staff is fairly small at the moment, and I am having to learn how to lead in new areas, but also how to serve in new areas. I am learning a lot about how God's power rests on me in the areas in which I am weak. For example, I am not very good at home-maintenance. If you ask my father, he'll probably tell you that I'm actually quite rubbish at it. But I am helping lead work duties for the DTS now, which means that I have to figure out home maintenance (with the help of Google and my fellow staff members) quickly. God is helping me a lot, although not with the skills needed. He is increasing my patience, so that when I have had to try to fix the same miniature disaster with the plumbing four times this week, I have actually been able to do it instead of walking away in frustration or tears. Perhaps an increase of patience is better than an increase in my handiness skills, because it requires me to go to Him instead of depending on myself. If I want God's power to rest on me the way it talks about in 2 Corinthians, I have to give it room to work.

Last weekend we had our base-wide retreat in Harpenden, a small village about an hour outside of London. It was a beautiful weekend of worship, teachings and time together as a base. We were so busy up until the retreat that I forgot that it was coming, and the way that God spoke so clearly in that time was almost a surprise to me. While seasons of growth and going deeper with God can be painful, because it means that God points out things to be worked on, it is also beautiful, because it means that I have to reach for His presence so much more often.

It is autumn in London, and the leaves are falling, and the sun is setting earlier, and I am wearing my cardigans every day, and it is such a beautiful season, because the Spirit of God is near and at work. His work will not come back empty.

six little thankfuls

I have been on outreach with my team for the past month and a half, and whenever I am in an outreach phase, my priorities shift from those that I have during normal living. There's such a trend for "living simply," and while I don't necessarily subscribe to that, I do love when my heart is re-aligned to thankfulness for small things. I don't shower often or sleep in a bed these days, but that does not mean that God's blessings are not bountiful and exquisite.

Today, I am thankful for:
1. Quiet spaces
    Even time that is a space of quiet. We have done a lot of camps this outreach, in Paris, Glasgow, Edinburgh, and now in London, which means that we have been around a lot of people. I am thankful for even five minutes of walking to Tesco alone, and because that time is precious, it means that I often grab it to speak to God, to check in with Him, and to let Him refresh my heart and eyes.

2. Showers
    Of any sort, really, whether there are several in a room together, one shower for forty girls, or my shower at home that requires a trek. It's so nice to actually shower, to have your whole body clean at one time. It's possible to be clean without showers, but it takes a lot more effort, and it makes a ten minute shower feel like dancing in heaven.

3. Multiple languages
    If you know me at all, then you know that I have been trying to learn Spanish for ages. I am finally at a point where I can communicate, even with people who don't speak English, and I am so happy to be able to be in places with so many nationalities. There are several people living at the camp with me now who don't speak much English, so I've gotten to sit with them and stretch my Spanish to learn more about them, about their heart for God, and also how to figure out how to say "The cabbage needs to go above the cabinet." My Italian is also expanding this week, and my Swedish, and I love sitting in the middle of a room and hearing so many different languages being spoken by people with one passion.

4. Worship
     I am so thankful to live with worshipers. And that God didn't make music the only way to worship. Seriously, worship is what saves me during days with little sleep and lots of questions thrown at me. It puts God in His proper place and turns my heart from murmuring to gratitude, because the God of all creation (of water, earth, and sky :p) knows my heart and welcomes me into intimacy with Him all of the time. I only have to turn my eyes to Him. I think that's what the lyric "Keep my eyes above the waves" from Hillsong United's "Oceans" means, anyway. It's hard to stay in my own belly button of self pity when my eyes are focused on such beauty.

5. People's Flexibility
    When you do camps, you see people all day (and night, if you're creepy and watch them sleep...which I am not.). That gives you plenty of time to see both good and bad, and to have both your good and bad bits exposed. But one thing that has amazed me this outreach is how flexible people are. Sleeping on floors is not something that people normally do, but for the sake of furthering the gospel, I have seen several hundred people sleep on floors this summer. I have seen them go without bathing, internet, and their usual eating habits. In Bones, the camp that my team runs for Notting Hill Carnival, we wake up at 8 and work until midnight with few moments for breathing in between. And do you know that people pay to come do that with us? They pay to sleep in a church, to not shower, to eat the (delicious) food made for 70 people, to go out every day and evangelise, and to learn to walk on stilts or do percussion for the parade that we do at the Carnival. That's crazy! I love people who do insane things for the Lover of their souls.

6. Coffee
    But not the instant kind. I don't know why God allowed instant coffee to be invented, to be honest. However, people are gracious with me, and they sometimes bring me coffee, or share their coffee with me, or make me coffee, and I don't know about you, but for me, there's just something about coffee that reminds me that Jesus loves me utterly.

Life on the Fringe

I am sleeping in a bed again!

Only for two more nights, but still.

For the two weeks of outreach in Scotland, our team slept on the floors of churches in Glasgow and Edinburgh. In three days, we move into our own home church as we run a camp for Notting Hill Carnival and begin our Arts Revolution DTS.

It is an exciting time to be in London!

But back to Scotland.

For the first week that we were in Scotland, my teammates and I unexpectedly found ourselves participating in a Kings Kids Wildfire camp. Kings Kids is the youth ministry of YWAM, and the camp was run to do evangelism during the Commonwealth Games (kind of a mini Olympics for the 70-odd nations and territories that are part of the Commonwealth) in Glasgow.

I have to admit that I was not thrilled to find myself a part of a kids' camp. But to be honest, it turned out to be amazing. Those kids were on fire for God! We were there to be the performances that drew the crowd to whom the kids could speak. We performed the same show that we did in Paris, and afterwards, we got to tell the people gathered about Jesus.

Glasgow was so much more receptive to Jesus than it was two years ago, when I was on my DTS outreach. We had over twenty salvations in the week of the camp, and I led three girls to Jesus! It was so exciting to kneel on the high road in Glasgow and pray with them.

After our week at the camp, we went to Edinburgh to participate in the Fringe Festival. I've dreamt of going to the Fringe since I was a child, since it's the largest theatre festival in the world, and I was not disappointed. Not only did we get free tickets for all of us to a musical, but we also got to talk to and pray for a lot of the cast members of the shows. Our sound system took an unexpected journey to a camp outside of Glasgow without us, so we spent several days doing evangelism on the Royal Mile instead of performing. When Melo rescued our sound system, we got a busking license and began performing our show about real joy and the journey to finding it with Christ. We performed in the street without asking for money, and it gave us the opportunity to share with a lot of the visitors to the Fringe.

I love outreach, when we get to share God with people all over the world. I love how we use arts with evangelism to share Christ with people in a way that hits their hearts as well as their understanding.

And there are more than two weeks of outreach still to go!

Having my make up put on before a performance

With other members of our team.

The whole team in Edinburgh

Performing at the Fringe.

The view of the crowd at the Fringe.

Oui were in Paris!

This is just a brief update on our time in Paris, since I have been home for five hours and leave again in less than an hour for Glasgow and Edinburgh, Scotland, for the Commonwealth Games and the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.

In Paris, we worked with Paris Je T'aime, a festival/camp that does open air performances around Paris in the evenings. Our team performed dance, musical, and theatrical numbers, then spread through the audience to speak to the people who stopped to watch. I performed three songs that my teammates wrote while I was renewing my visa. The fashion interns made a beautiful costume, and Melody, our team make up artist, did different make up on me and Laura, my theatre intern, every night. It was a blast to perform and get to speak to the audience members.

I do not speak French, but Melody helped me, and in Belleville, a bit of a dangerous neighbourhood (and on the night there was a shooting in the Metro and protests all over Paris), we spoke to a man who had never heard that Jesus did not just die for Christians, but also died for him. He asked me why, and when I told him that Jesus died for him because He loves him, the man nearly cried. I have never before looked into somebody's eyes as they realise the love of Jesus, but it is a sight that I don't think I will ever forget.

I was truly amazed by the people in Paris Je T'aime. They came from countries all over the world, and they gave two weeks of their time to pay to fly to Paris and to do evangelism. They had such good hearts about it, too, and they were excited to give their time for Jesus. It inspired me and gave me new excitement about the awesome life God has called me to. I get to do this again for two weeks in Scotland!

And before I dash off, here are some photographs of Paris (I was not the photographer this time, so the photographs of performances will have to come later):

The Eiffel Tower

 

My make up after the first performance

The Arc de Triomph

Leading worship at the camp meeting.

On the rooftop of Lafayette.

Two Sides of Home

After two months back in the States, the time is here again: on Wednesday, July 9th, I leave from Savannah, and on Thursday, July 10th, I will arrive back in London.

The past two months have been amazing. I have traveled all around the Southeast to spend time with various churches that have been a part of my life and people who are still big parts of my life, despite the ocean that normally separates us. I know that people always say this, but it really has been humbling to meet the people who pray for and support me. For a while, your names were names I saw in emails and prayed in prayers of thanksgiving to God, but this summer, I got to pray with you in person and hug you and thank you face to face. It was a humbling experience because I saw how big God is, and how, although I am just one person, there are so many people who consistently lift up my name to God, who pray for the work I do, and who don't forget me, no matter where in the world I am.

If you are just joining my journey, welcome! There is a post here that will tell you how to support me via Paypal, but other than that, this is a place where I tell everyone what I am up to, where in the world I am, or what God is working on in my life. You can leave a comment to talk to me, or you can email me directly at deborahestevenson@gmail.com

Anyway, back to my update. In three days, I arrive in London, and on July 13th, the whole arts ministry leaves for Paris, where we will be performing in a festival in front of the Eiffel Tower. As we perform, members of our team will also be in the audience, telling people about Jesus. I have wanted to participate in this festival since I heard about it over a year ago, and I am so excited to be able to be there for it this year.

After the festival in Paris, we will head up to Scotland for the Fringe Festival, then back down to London to host Bones, a camp to which we invite people from all nations to come join us for Notting Hill Carnival. I will try to keep this blog updated, but I will not be in London for more than a few days until the middle of August.

But before I leave, here are some pictures from my time in the States!

My first weekend in Savannah, Georgia, my brother came up, and my whole family went out to find alligators. We saw 39.

I learned my way around Savannah, since my parents moved here while I was in London.

 At Donielle's wedding in May in Greenville, SC.

I got to take part in Shandon Baptist's VBS in Columbia, SC by acting and writing the script for the worship time.

 

Spending time with Donielle in Raleigh, NC

One of my favourite little buddies, who I reunited with in Columbia, SC.

I spent the 4th of July visiting my brother in Orlando, Florida.

 

It has been nice to be back in the Land that I Love, the Home of the Free and the Brave (can you see that I enjoyed the 4th of July? It was my first one in the States since 2011!), but I am excited to return to London. Please pray for the safety of me and my team as we embark on our summer outreach, and please also pray that we stay energised and excited. If you could also pray that I remember my French while I'm in Paris, I would really appreciate it.

 

Bye, America! It's been lovely! 

 

Hello, London!