when you learn to walk your dreams

For several months, we as Hope and Anchor Community Church have talked about our desire to have a congregation that looks like the neighbourhood outside the church doors. Our real passion is to be a church on the streets, and not just a church that is holed up in a building, enjoying a worship service but never impacting the neighbourhood.

With Lazarus Project, several of us spend time in the streets of Camden, feeding the homeless alongside a project called Streets Kitchen and talking to and checking on the homeless and needy with whom we have relationships. We have been wondering what it would look like for the homeless of our streets, the people who seem most willing to have relationships with us, to become a part of our church. And, if nothing else, it is cold. We have a warm space for them to be in for a few hours on a Sunday.

While a few of our homeless friends have ventured into church once, they haven't repeated their visits. They are a transient community. It is hard to stay in touch with them if we don't find them outside, because they rarely keep phones for longer than a few weeks, if they have them at all. So we don't know why it is that they don't return. But we want them to return.

Before the service last Sunday, Sara and I talked to a homeless man called Sam. It was a fiercely cold day (we had a week of snow last week - and London is not prepared for snow), and we invited him to come inside of the church to warm up. We assured him that he didn't have to participate, and that if all he wanted to do was sit in the back, that was fine. So he came along and sat in the back, and after serving him tea and biscuits, we left him to warm up.

After the service, Sam stayed sat in the back of the room. I began helping to clear away our equipment, and as I did, I saw our pastor go and kneel down in front of Sam. They stayed that way for a while, and while I do not know what was said, what struck me the most was the posture. The busyness of tidying away swirled around them, but all of Chris's attention was on Sam. Before Sam left, he told us some of the things that he needs. His bag was nicked last week, so he is without many essentials, but he was hesitant to ask for everything that he needed.

On Tuesday evening, Chris took some emergency blankets we'd ordered to Sam and his friends. Sam had told us that many of the homeless men had to walk around all night, because they hadn't anything to keep them from freezing to death if they went to sleep. Yesterday, as I walked down the stairs at church (more tidying), I found Chris with Sam, who was trying on several pairs of shoes. One pair I recognised as Chris's own, a sturdy pair of trainers in which he's walked across the world.

Chris would perhaps not like me sharing this, but I am going to do it anyway, because it struck me. This is what it looks like to be the church in the streets and to welcome the streets into our church. It means giving them what we have. It means not putting demands on their behaviour. We say that we want to meet people where they are at - and maybe this is what it looks like. Maybe it looks like letting a homeless man sleep in the corridor during movie night. He doesn't have to participate, because what he truly needs is a safe place to catch forty winks.

We don't really know how to move with this, but I think that's okay. Because we asked God for this, and He has seen fit to do it. So now, I think that we just have to keep following Him and doing our best to be faithful to His dream.

I really hope that Sam comes back next week.

hope is rising

This update is long overdue, especially considering that I met many of you during my ten-day visit to the States in December. It was amazing to put faces to the people who support me and to get to pray alongside you for the church that our team is planting, for our staff, for the homeless, and for getting to be God's hands and feet in London. 

All of that being said, I don't have an excuse for not writing. We are in our quiet season; when the leadership school students and arts interns arrive in the first week of February, we will begin a long streak of schools that will last until the Christmas season. The weeks have been spent preparing our various houses for that onslaught of students, meeting around tables to discuss the hopes and dreams God has put on our hearts for 2018 (and to put back at God's feet the things that we feel we could have done differently), and sorting through the piles of things that we put off to do "when we have more time." But "more time" is almost over; next week, our whole base heads to Brussels for our base retreat, and when we get back, the students arrive. 

Whilst I was lying in my childhood bed in my parents' house, I found myself asking God for one thing over and over again. I had the space that I needed from London and the perspective from talking to all of you about 2017, and I realised that, somewhere along the way, I got so focused on the day-to-day activities of various schools and ministries that I forgot to hope. You have to lift your eyes to hope. You have to look beyond the circle of what you are holding in your own arms to the heavens so that you can see that there is a way that we cannot even fathom. And that way is far better than the suppositions that we make on a daily basis. I can keep my eyes level and look at tomorrow, but when I do that, I forget to factor in that God will be next to me. Chances are that He will do something that I don't expect. So I need to learn again how to look up, to see my situations reflected in the Light of Heaven. 

Part of that hoping and receiving beyond what I expected has been the opportunity to go on several ministry trips in the first months of this year. I will be travelling to Brussels, Geneva, and New York City in January, February, and March. I am excited to meet with other believers around the world, to make connections that will hopefully lead to us working together, and to see what God is doing where I am not actively working. Going on ministry trips and outreaches gives me a heart for the whole world and helps me from getting self-focused on what we are doing in London. London is but a piece of God's plan! In the midst of my excitement, though, is the realisation that my bank account also did not expect these trips. God is faithful, and I trust Him (I feel like I always reiterate that at this point). If He wants me in these places, He will make a way. But also, if you are wondering what area of need I have right now, this is it. I need support that goes directly to me and my bank account for travel, food, and the other necessities of life that are not covered by my staff fees in YWAM. If you'd like to help in that area and don't know how, please just email me at deborahestevenson@gmail.com. 

I also briefly mentioned above that we have an arts internship and a leadership school starting in February. You are probably tired of hearing about arts internships by now, but this leadership school is our first one ever! We saw a need to raise up the next generation to lead in a Godly way. True leadership, the Bible says, is to be the servant of all. It also means being able to come under authority, being rooted and grounded, and many, many other things that I have come to learn in my time as a part of this team. So this February, we have young people from around the world coming to a three-month leadership school. It is always a growing experience, meaning both full of joy and full of humbling, to do something for the first time. Please pray for our team as we welcome these young leaders to our family! 

Melo and Andres have also recently returned from their honeymoon, and the three of us have begun work on YWAM London Radiant's first-ever March DTS. Yes, we are running two discipleship training schools this year (more room for humility and discovery with God!), and we need your prayer as well as we work through these next months of preparing for the students that are currently applying. 

And as ever, soon we will need a new house for all of these people. God has laid different areas of London on our hearts, and we need wisdom to know where He is leading us next (and open doors and finances...). We also desperately need a space for all of the schools to meet in. Space is one of our constant challenges in London, as you have probably discovered. I know that there are many of you who pray for us on a daily and weekly basis, so if you could pray for our schools that are coming up and for the space that we need, we trust that we will see the fruits of that!

Finally (finally is probably what you are thinking, as well!), I want to thank all of you that I saw in Georgia, South Carolina, and North Carolina. When we all prayed together for Hope and Anchor Community Church, or when you came to tell me that you were praying for and thinking of our team, it encouraged me. We don't take it lightly when you say that you are praying. We know the power of prayer, and it is incredible to see you wield that power. So, from all of us at YWAM London Radiant, thank you for your faithfulness. 

nets stretched in the best ways

There is a story in the Gospels where the disciples are out fishing all night, yet they don’t catch anything. Then Jesus comes along, and they have such a large catch that their nets begin to break. Yesterday, in our staff meeting, Peri mentioned this story and how we are ending that sort of season right now. God has been so faithful with His blessings: today we finish a DTS with over 20 students from all of the habitable continents. We’ve had outreaches to different cities in the UK, Paris, Spain, and Italy. We had Bones/Arise camp, where we reached out to all of London in the run-up to Notting Hill Carnival. We have several houses across London and a church in Camden as well as ministries that began this year and are reaching into many different sectors of society. When we look back on 2017, we are amazed by what God has done.

Something that Chris has kept saying recently, though, is that blessings come with a weight of responsibility. Each of us has carried increased weight in this season, from more responsibilities to learning how to maintain family in a steadily-growing team. It takes a lot of faithfulness with time and intentionality in relationships. It means being less selfish with space and possessions. And it means carving out time each day to sit quietly with God and to listen to how He wants to do it, because there isn’t a precedent for us to follow. 

In this whole process, our nets have worn in some places. Those of us who are a part of Lazarus, the mercy ministry, have grown used to seeing heart-ache and brokenness in the homeless that we work with several times a week. It has taken a toll on us, even if we haven’t noticed in the day-to-day. We need to be refreshed. Likewise, those of us who have spent the past five months walking alongside our Discipleship Training School students will release them tonight at their graduation, and for a few weeks, at least, we will let go of that responsibility and hand them back to their families and friends. 

And we’re tired. This is our season of more time and freedom, when we go home for holidays and take time together as a team to listen to God and to be re-filled. We have a staff retreat in Brussels in January (where two of our team are moving to lead the YWAM base there), and before that, we are shifting who lives where and how we organise the structure of our days. But also, there will be more time to seek God’s heart. And that is what keeps us going. 

We need your prayers in this season, that doors will open for our team to have a space to meet all together. We have 25 staff and just as many students, and the places that we have been using are no longer available to us. But in February we begin an arts internship and a leadership school, and as of right now, we don’t know where the classes and track times for those schools will be held. We also need prayers that we will find the right house when we need it again, as this is the off-season for the London housing market. It is also getting closer to the time for us to begin our commercial venture of having a cafe/shop/hair salon, etc, and we are starting to learn about the rental agreements for commercial spaces. As you can imagine, the rent will be staggering. But we want to be faithful to God’s dreams for London, so we are pursuing it. 

As for me, I am training to run the London Marathon in April. It is our charity’s first year having a space, which means a lot of paperwork and registering the charity with various services from the Queen. I thought that training would be the most difficult part of the marathon, but I was wrong! If you could pray that God makes a clear way for us to get all registered, I would be very thankful!

I will be in the States from 17-27 December. On 17 December, I will be at Calvary Baptist Temple in Savannah, Georgia. On 19 December, I will be at Martha Franks in Laurens, South Carolina. On 20 December, I will be at Green Creek First Baptist Church in Columbus, North Carolina. If you’d like to see me at any of those places, please email deborahestevenson@gmail.com. I cannot wait to see all of you whilst I am in the States!

Micah and Ina talking to a guest at our November exhibition

Our students inviting people into our November exhibition

One of the girls I mentor performing in front of a castle in Milan, Italy

A picture one of my photography students, Joseph, took of me in Lake Como, Italy

Another photo of me by Joseph in Lake Como

With one of my arts gathering friends, Theresa, in Paris

a teaching at the International Arts Gathering in Paris

Serving the homeless of Camden

The Tuesday morning drop-in for the homeless

Drop In, Drop Out

I seem to be an expert at fly-by posts these days. October has been a month on the move for me, with a half-marathon, the final performances of "Here I Stand" by Mervyn Weir, the International Arts Gathering in Paris, and now, outreach to Milan. I am so grateful to have gotten to do both the half marathon and the play, because they have allowed me to influence different spheres of society that I don't normally get to touch. As a team, we don't want to just be the church inside of a church building. We love to be the church everywhere that we go, because we take Jesus wherever we go. If people's lives are changed when they encounter Jesus, then we bring the possibility of change just by moving across the different streets and societal spheres of our city.

Most of my team came to support me in the London showing of the play, and it meant so much to me that they gave up a Saturday evening to be there. It wasn't just that they wanted to see me sing and act; the play was about the Protestant Reformation and what the church's responsibility is today. It had a clear gospel message about God's grace, and there were non-Christians in the audience who left the theatre knowing a lot more about God than when they entered. For that matter, I learnt a lot about the Reformation myself!

I am excited to hand all of the things that I have been doing back to God and to make room for Milan. As I was training for the London Marathon today, I had 16 miles to think back over everything that God is doing. In the past year, He has increased our team exponentially. We quote it all of the time: six houses, several churches that work with us, several new vehicles, numerous new jobs and ministries and areas where God is putting us to spread His love. But as often as we quote it, I still have to remember to thank God for what He is doing. The landscape of our team is changing. We don't all staff all of the programmes anymore, since we are involved in the various ministries of the base. We have to be more intentional about communicating the daily details of life and about celebrating together. We have to fight more to be a family.

We are being challenged in the area of finances as well, with six houses to pay rent on as well as utilities and other expenses. Chris said it best last week, "Sometimes you think you want the blessing, and then you feel the weight of the blessing." We look forward to the seasons that are coming in 2018, to the schools and the ministries and the programmes, but we are also having to learn to be faithful with what we have right now. For me, that means being faithful to lead the students well in Milan next week, to love them and walk with them even when I am tired or would rather not have to find solutions to whatever situations present themselves.

The team went to Milan last year, but I haven't been since the outreach that we took in April 2015. I think that God will open my eyes to aspects of the city that I didn't see the last time we were there, and I look forward to it. And of course, there will be the typical challenges of a DTS outreach. But the students have been going after God's heart at the International Arts Gathering in Paris this past week, and they are all so excited to see in what ways they can serve and use arts to reach the people of Milan.

Only half the team is going to Milan; the other half of the DTS students will be doing outreach in Spain. It is the first time we've split a DTS outreach like this, so I think that we will learn a lot. But I am also looking forward to getting to know the ten students on our team more deeply in this time, and to seeing them move in the ways that God encourages them. Outreach always requires a lot of dependance on God, and as difficult as that is to plan for, it means that the Holy Spirit has the space to work in our lives and through our lives. And for that, I truly am excited.

If you could pray for the outreach teams to Spain and Italy, we will be gone until 11 November. After that, the students dive back into lecture weeks, and we prepare for an exhibition that will be held at the end of November. And if you could pray for the team and personal finances of all of us here in London, as well, we would truly appreciate it.

I will see you all after Italy! Ciao!

(hello, goodbye!)

I am just popping in for a quick post on a busy Sunday morning, busy because, in addition to team activities, I have had the privilege to participate in two other activities over the past months: half-marathon training and rehearsals for a play. They are diverse, but they are both passions that God has given me, and it has been an absolute honour to include both of these into my life here in London.

Many of you may remember that my university degree is in theatre. Many of you may not know that, the year I began university, I also began running. After nine years (yes, nine!), I am doing my first "real" race next Sunday morning. I will be running the Royal Parks Half Marathon, and if all goes well, I will potentially be running the London Marathon in April. I believe that I take the Spirit of God with me wherever I go, and that by training these past six months, I have taken God with me all over the city. I've seen areas that I wouldn't normally venture into, met people, been a part of activities (I've seen the Queen's Guard twice!) that I hadn't planned on attending, and had lots of time to pray and listen to God's heartbeat for this city. I'm running for a charity called Shelter who seeks to give counsel to those facing homelessness, and through that counsel and those resources, to help them find homes. I am still about £100 short of what I need to race, so if you would consider contributing to my race, you can do that here: http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/deborahstevenson

I am also a cast member in a new play by Mervyn Weir that is called "Here I Stand." This October marks 500 years since the Reformation with Luther and his other Protestant compatriots, and the play is a call to arms for the church in England. The church here is divided and, largely, empty. That is something that has weighed on the hearts of my team members and I for years, and getting to be a part of this play has been amazing. It is not just for church goers; rather, we play in secular theatres around the UK. Last night was our opening night in Cardiff, Wales. Some people came from as far as Germany to see it! The whole cast was driven to Cardiff from London together, and we spent the day in technical rehearsal and doing the show. It went really well, and we arrived back in London around 2:30 am. The show goes up in London on 21 October and in Birmingham on 28 October, so if you're on this side of the ocean and would like to come, you can purchase your tickets here: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/here-i-stand-london-black-history-month-tickets-35784904613

So there you have it! Life is full in London, and leaves are covering the streets, and the days are shorter, but we are still running for the prize (pun intended). I am sorry that this update is so short, but I desperately covet your prayers for these "extra-curricular" activities that I get to take part in. And if you manage to make it to either the half marathon or to one of the shows, please let me know! I would love to see you!

Running training by some landmarks

The theatre in Cardiff

a terrible picture of me in costume

the joy that comes

Autumn is firmly on its way now. Leaves clutter the kerb outside of our house, and we have had to unpack the cardigans and warm socks that we hid away in our summer optimism. But for me, the year turned two weeks ago, when we opened the door of Westbourne Grove Church on a Tuesday morning to find the streets of Notting Hill in their normal, tidy state. The chaos of the previous two days, when two million people descended on the neighbourhood for the Notting Hill Carnival, had disappeared literally overnight. 

Notting Hill Carnival and Bones Camp were different this year than they have been in the five previous years that I’ve taken part. For obvious reasons: we no longer host it at Notting Hill Community Church, and recent terrorist attacks as well as the Grenfell Tower fire in June have changed the atmosphere of Notting Hill. But to be honest, I was ready for a change. I had grown comfortable with Bones Camp (well, as much as one can in a camp that includes minimal sleep or showers), and I needed to be reminded of the purpose. Last year, we expanded Bones Camp to reach more of London. We continued that this year, and throughout the twelve days of Bones, we went to Notting Hill, Portobello Road Market, King’s Cross, Trafalgar Square, and Shoreditch. We all went to church together in Camden on the first Sunday, as well, which felt like taking an army into our Promised Land. 

Every year, you hear me say the same things about Bones. We created floats, we walked on stilts, we drummed. We did all of those things this year. But instead of creating a visual marvel this year, we did our floats and costumes on a smaller scale and focused on being intentional with people. I believe that God loves a spectacle that brings Him glory - if He didn’t, would have have vanquished His foes by luring them into the Red Sea and then drowning them all spectacularly? Would He have made Himself a cloud of fire to lead the Israelites by night, or sent massive plagues onto the nation of Egypt? But God is also the King of subtlety. He sent an earthquake and a whirlwind past Elijah, but He was in the whisper that came afterwards. And Jesus Himself did amazing miracles, but according to Isaiah, He wasn’t the most handsome, charismatic man. Different years of Notting Hill Carnival lead us to express different dimensions of God’s heart. 

Notting Hill is hurting this year. Grenfell Tower exposed the truth of the gap between rich and poor in Kensington and Chelsea. The tower is visible from all around Notting Hill, yet it may as well have been invisible for all the attention given it before the fire. Even now, after the fire, the gap between rich and poor is drastic. The people of Grenfell have had money thrown at them, but it isn’t helping them. In the case of our Dinner Club acquaintances who lived in the tower, it has led them into a spiral of buying drugs and remaining drunk. There isn’t anybody to help them cope with what has happened, so they are destroying themselves to try to forget what has happened and to fill the gaps left by the friends who didn’t make it out. During Bones Camp, we met with one man in particular who we used to hang out with at Dinner Club and around Notting Hill. He had brand new designer sneakers and a new phone, as well as new accommodation, but he also had a new drug addiction. His life is in worse shambles now than it was before.

One my favourite moments of Carnival was when we paraded up the street with signs and rhythms proclaiming joy and life. Grenfell rose behind us, a shadow of what has happened this year, but we got to make new proclamations over the ground. We spent the afternoons of the Carnival talking to people, handing them handwritten promises from the Bible like, “You are not alone,” and, “You are loved.” And we were there. That is what we are called to be: to be there, and to be Love. We were there to meet people as they tried to fill the emptiness of a year, as they tried to forget what has happened, as they tried to find a reason to celebrate, as they drank overpriced beer and danced pressed against strangers and took recreational drugs. 

I love photographing the Carnival, because it gives me a chance to step back and see what is really happening. But I also love going on stilts, because people love to stop and chat. In that moment, we get to give them love and truth. This year, I got to go on stilts in the second afternoon, and I had so much joy from God as I handed out promises to the hordes of people coming down the street. Many stopped to ask what they meant, and we all got to explain the truth about God that flies in the face of everything they’ve heard from the media, from society, from school, about who God is. He is Love, and He is in the middle of Carnival, ready to encounter them.

But isn’t that just like our Father, to be where we least expect Him, inviting us to run back to His open arms?

Eric riding one of our floats and drumming in the main Carnival parade.

a snap of me at Carnival

Alli and Gabby walking on stilts in the main Carnival parade.

two of the people that I spoke to in the Carnival

Melo and I doing evangelism in the Carnival

Parading through the streets of Notting Hill

Going up a street with the shell of Grenfell Tower in the background

Amanda with two of her co-workers, who came to the picnic that we had before Carnival

A performance that we gave for the neighbourhood before Carnival

One of the best parts of being on a housing estate (social housing) is the sense of community. We held a picnic/pre-Carnival party for them, and we spent the evening hanging out and getting to know them.

resting and running

Everything that I’ve been reading lately seems to talk about how waiting on God takes focus and passion and about active resting. Those are both things that I am having to learn on-the-go, since our 2017 DTS began on 7 July, and we have been going full swing with our 26 students since then. We have already had three weeks of lectures as well as a week of outreach to Bristol for Upfest, the biggest street art festival in the world. 

I recently read a book that talked about Martha and Mary, and it said that we often say, “We need Marthas as well as Mary’s,” but that it isn’t true. Martha was upset that Mary wouldn’t help prepare food that Jesus hadn’t even asked for, but Mary recognised the importance of having Jesus in her house, and she responded in the best way that she could have - she took advantage of it by sitting at His feet and learning from him. Yes, culturally women served. But if Jesus shows up in your lounge room, you don’t run around and make sure all of the details are perfect; you soak up as much from him as you can! If not, by the time you get the house right, you’ll have missed him even being there!

I have the honour of mentoring four of our girls as well as having five photographers in the photography track with me, and I am getting to know them and to be a part of their processes. It is always good to go through DTS with them again, to examine what it means to hear the voice of God, to look at having a servant heart, to see God’s Father heart for us. 

Our timetable is a bit mad right now, because we still have Hope and Anchor Community Church, Connect Groups, Lazarus Project, and times of evangelism, but we also have a DTS of athletes and artists who have joined us. It always takes stretching to learn how to fit everything again. And now we have six houses, as well (and have gotten four of them in the past year), so we have to discover how to make time to be a family in the midst of being spread out across London.

At the same time, God has blessed us. And blessings from God often take stretching. I am still training for the half marathon in October (you can donate to the charity I am running for here - I need to raise 329 pounds by October!), as well as rehearsing for a play about the Reformation, Here I Stand, that will play in London, Cardiff, and Birmingham in September and October. The half marathon and play are activities that I am participating in outside of YWAM, and it is so good to get to know people from this city and to share whole pieces of my life with them. 

The cast of the play is not comprised entirely of Christians, although the writer/director and producer are both Christians dedicated to making quality theatre that educates and entertains. It brings me a lot of joy to be acting again, especially in a British cast, and I’ve been learning a lot about the historical ramifications of the Reformation on the church today. If you’d like to look up information about the play, it is called ‘Here I Stand’ by Mervyn Weir. It is another aspect of doing theatre and missions together, and I love it. 

As you can see, life is busy. I haven’t posted as often as I would like, but you have been blessing me from afar. Lately, I have felt properly spoiled by you guys. A few ladies have sent me cards and packages of cosmetics and things like face masks and eye liner that have been such treats. Others of you have begun supporting me, which is a massive blessing. Still others pray consistently for me (one of you prays at the same time every day!). When my life is this busy, I do feel the force of the prayers and support. Thank you for your faithfulness and love for me; I don’t take it for granted. You are an important part of the work that I do here.

If you could pray that I learn to rest in the madness of these days, I would appreciate it. I trust God when He says that His burden is easy and His yoke is light; I would love to learn how to live that out more! I don’t want to miss out on enjoying this time with our DTS students, or of this Notting Hill Carnival and Bones that starts next week. I want to enjoy it to the fullest, to take time to listen to God, to see how God is shaping lives, and to get to work with Jesus and to shape the lives of others. 

Joel evangelising to a guy in Bristol

a homeless man sleeping on the ground in Bristol

the DTS on their tour of London

Plating food for a homeless feeding programme with the Lazarus Project

Chatting with friends at a homeless feeding programme with Lazarus Project