Friday, January 23, 2015

learning to rest

It turns out that I'm not very good at resting.

It is a free week, and when I spent time with God earlier this week and asked Him what He wanted from this week, He said one word: "rest."

It took me several days to actually let go and stop trying to be productive enough to rest.

The DTS ended a week ago, with a fancy dinner and a few days of goodbye hugs and last moments together, and it took several days after that for me to fully process the amazing work God did in our lives in the past five months.

Staffing a DTS was amazing and challenging and exhausting and fun. It taught me to look at others more than myself, to listen instead of pushing productivity, and most of all, to rely on God's strength. He stripped away all of my own strength through fasting, through illness, through 3 am filmings and listening to what was happening in the lives of the students instead of requiring them to finish a project right away. I had to let go of my criteria and ask God to show me people through His eyes. I had to learn to work better with my teammates, as well, because they have so many gifts and strengths that I do not have. God pulled all of us together as a team and a family, and that was probably my favorite part of the DTS.

We start our winter internship in less than a week, and now I am starting to ask God what He wants to do in this time. We rang in the New Year with the DTS by doing evangelism and worship on Primrose Hill, the highest point in Camden, which is our promised land, and I would like to continue moving in that same way. I would like to continue to build relationships with people in London, to talk to and show strangers His love, and to worship Him in various corners of the city. I'd also like to do more work in the area of photography and justice, which is a topic God has been speaking to me about a lot in the past few months.

And I'd like to spend the next year resting in God. There are a lot of things happening with visas, with ideas for future internships, with expanding to grab various parts of the city, that are coming up and over which I have no control. I've been learning to rest this week, to prioritize listening to God over productivity and my own strength, and that is something that I hope to carry into this next season in the team and year.